Throughout my life I worked at many different types of employment. Not having the greatest education, and being thrust out into the Gay World at such an early age had a huge impact on the life I have lived. I learned early on that it was a dog eat dog world and that I had to put myself first if I was to survive.

I worked throughout my entire life, had many (mini) careers, and enjoyed the fruits of my labors. I was successful at any job I worked, a favored employee, always giving 110 percent, no matter the job. I lived many lives within this one life that I have been blessed with. I even spent years using different names. Steve, until I was 22. Then Eric, for 20 years, (Eric is my middle name), Then I spent 4 years as Misty. Yes, I spent 4 years living my life as a woman, even to the point of seriously considering hormones, and surgery to make it complete. After much therapy, councelling, and soul searching, I came back to the fact that God had created me and loved me as I am, so why was I so hellbent on changing what he had so graciously created in me? I love Misty, and she is still a strong presence in my life, but I came to terms with it, and accepted the idea that I can be Misty any time I choose, and still be myself, as Steve, or Eric, it was all up to me.

Unfortunately after 16 years of struggling to work full time with AIDS as a "side affect" that I had to deal with daily, I finally became so ill that I had no choice but to file for disability. I qualified immediately. This was in 2002. It was a blessing, that was, if I survived long enough to benefit from it, and thankfully I have. But working for me was no longer an option. I had to find other ways to survive, and I learned early on that that meant giving up the full life that I was so accustomed. Many changes occurred, but I adapted, and moved forward. Would I ever be well enough to re-enter the work force? Would I who worked my entire life be able to go back out into the world and be productive? To date, that has been a difinitive "NO". But I still have hope, I still have that dream. But until then, maybe there was another way I could find some sort of success! Thus, what took years to develop became a reality, and in 2008 I was blessed to have my first book published. It is a book of poems, mostly of a spiritual nature, but all dealing directly with all of the issues I have had to face these 46 years of living. Below you will find some info on that book. I would hope I inspire or peak your curiosity enough that you would want to experience my writing for  yourselves. God Bless each of you!

My one accomplishment to date is a book of poetry that I have published, which includes 22 years worth of poetic verse dealing with all my struggles; pain, addiction, love, faith, God, loss, suffering, lonliness, betrayal, survival, redemption, and forgiveness. It is my life poured out in words. To read my book is to know me completely! For those of you who are interested, please follow this link, and purchase my book. Here is the link: http://ericsdominion.webs.com/ I consider myself an Author/Artist. It doesn't pay the bills, it doesn't even buy me lunch, but it is my one true accomplishment in this life, and I am proud of what this un-educated, confused, troubled man could accomplish, when I had so many strikes against me for so long!

I am in the process of working to get my art work formatted so that I am able to share my work with my online network of individuals and organizations. This is an ongoing process, but Iwill keep you posted as it comes to fruition! I look so forward to hearing from you, on any topic, any time! Hugs, and may God Bless each of you with all the success this life has to offer! All my love,

Steve!

I came out at a very early age, and was taken in by the local gay community. I learned a lot in those first years. I came into the gay world directly entering into the leather-levi world as a slave with a master. It was a learning experience that I would not trade for the world. After many years living that lifestyle, I decided to expand my horizons. I found that there were so many other areas within the gay community, and I wanted to experience each of them to the fullest. Unfortunately, as I was coming into my own, the AIDS epidemic was hitting our community full force. In 1987 I was involved in a serious auto accident, where they fought to save my life. My foot was severed, but thanks to micro-surgery, they were able to reattach it. However, while they were fighting to save my foot, they also informed me that I may not live to even know wether my foot would take, as I was full blown AIDS, and they said I may even just have weeks to live. I was devastated. I was 22. My life was really just beginning, and already I am being told to plan for the end of my short life.

For the first five years after my being diagnosed I woke each day thinking "today is the day I'm going to die". I abused every drug I could get, I drank from the a.m. to the p.m. I didn't care. I was going to die, so I might as well die high. Well, year after year I continued to surprise the medical staff assigned to my care. It was a miracle. I survived the wasting, the thrush, the cmv, the chronic diarhea, (diapers were my best friend, and I had to wear them for many months), and pneumonia. My mother told me one day, "You owe it to me to fight. To try" She felt that after all she did for me through the years that I owed her that much. So I fought, and I survived. She was right, she did so much for me, it was the least I could do!

I tried relationships with those who were positive, and those who weren't. None of them lasted over four years. I found that it wasn't easy to juggle the disease, the sicknesses, working full time, and the challenges of holding on in gay relationships that always seemed to be doomed to fail. So here I am at 46 years, (May 15th) and am single, and although I have life long friends, I am still living a very lonely life. I do the best I can to live a full life, to have personal relationships with friends I've known 30 plus years, but at the end of the day I am still alone; me, my 7 year old female cat (Sage), and my two year old standard poodle, (Tonoka). They have proved to be the best thing that could have ever happened to me. They also gave me a reason to fight, to try.

Mom passed away in February 2003. I was not prepared. I thought I would be gone long before her, but God had other plans. Once she passed on, I felt no reason to keep fighting, and had tried every means of ending my pain, my suffering. But once again, God made it clear, that He is the one to decide when I get to go "home" to join my Mom in heaven. I am glad I was not successful. I would have never have known the love of my animals for me, or the joy of knowing God through Jesus Christ on a deeply personal level. I am now proud to say I am a follower of Jesus in the truest sense. And God has made it clear to me that I'm gay because He made me for who I am, and He loves me just the way he made me, all my flaws, all my pros, and all my cons. His unconditional love comes to me each day that I am able to wake up to the birds singing outside my window, or to a beautiful song on the radio. I am grateful that God has allowed me these 24 years since the big day of being diagnosed with AIDS.

I share this blog for all those out there who may have felt like I did. Hopeless, alone, scared, confused, reaady to give up. Because there  is hope, there are new days ahead for each of you, just as they have been for me. Take time out to just enjoy the love, the compassion, and the hope offered through Jesus.

I would love to correspond with others, build a support system, make new friends, and who knows, maybe even find luck in love, a true love, a soul mate. So please feel free to write me, make contact, respond to my blog, or whatever you feel, just go with it. I look forward to meeting each of you and hearing your stories. Maybe you were meant to read this? Maybe I was meant to write it. However it may be, just know I love each of you unconditionally. This isn't lip service, it is my committment to the living God, which loved us first, allowing us to know love in our own hearts, and in our own lives! God Bless each of you. Hugs and take care,

Steve